multicolour network: barfiCulture.com | Asians in Media | Pickled Politics  


Chilling Main board Soulbazaar Advice
Current affairs   -   Biz & tech   -   Health   -   Creative   -   Reviews

[back to topic list] [refresh page] [jump to bottom]
09:33am, 10th May 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Grigory

It was splendid to see you, Sergie and his two "nieces" again. Must say, I've never seen that sort of willing contact between siblings before, but it's a definite argument against consanguinity - a concept which you, as a Medieval Man, know well, I'm sure.

I was pretty foxed by the end of the evening, but I think things went without a hitch. Most of the stains are soluble.

As we discussed at our annual meeting, we've had a good year. Sales are up (the girls have done wonders in the department, as in most others, come to think of it) and I think there is a strong place in the market for our particular brand of "Eastern European Entertainment". On balance, I think the decision not to, ah, go into liquidation, if I can speak that way with regard to our immediate competitor, was the right one to take. Had enough trouble keeping the last spat out of the steely gaze of the law, without starting some sort of turf war in Hastings. Quite apart from anything else, it's a ghastly place - which isn't to say that your Father isn't right to live there, of course. I mean, as he himself says, anything is better than the Gulag Days, I suppose.

I still have strong reservations about Nikolei's proposal. I am just not sure that the South Coast is ready for "Lady Boy Cossacks". I do know a couple of chaps who like the Lady Boy thing per se, but I think the addition of beard, horse, fur pelt and a frisson of violence may prove a trifle much for some of the more elderly customers (Colonel Smythe in particular may take against it - I know he still remembers the dislocation he suffered trying to re-enact the battle of Blenheim against "Louis XIV's naughty whoreshold troops").

I think we need to beef up what's on offer, however, and adding spice in any way we can is to be encouraged.

If I can praise myself, I am particularly proud of my innovation this year. Not only is the "Catherine the Great Room" extremely popular but - an unexpected windfall, this - it has encouraged a number of our patrons to take an interest in 18C Russian history. I am also pleased with our tie in with the saddlery, which as you know has been lucrative given the equestrian activity involved.

Look, thanks for invitation to drop over to your place on the 26th. Whitstable has never had so much on offer, I always think, and playing "hunt the thimble" with Natalia is always a pleasure. Unfortunately, I have to meet this chap I told you about, so will need to pass.

Anyway, speak soon no doubt. Do hope they are treating your brother more kindly, by the way. The regime in an open is so much easier than in Max Security. Sorry to hear about the soap incident, however.




09:35am, 10th May 2005   FAO Grigory

raz_q

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 140148
(dosvidanya vladivostock)


01:28pm, 10th May 2005   FAO Grigory

firanghi

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 140269
WTF?


04:02pm, 10th May 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 140361
I am not happy about our competitors. I have people coming over from home. We will discuss the position. I will let you know my decision.


12:45pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146314
Grigory

I met this chap on the 26th. I did ask Natalia to pass on a message, but she may have forgotten. She had her mouth full when we were speaking.

Anyway, the chap in question turns out to be an old school friend, Giles. Splendid chap, now working for HM.

He and I once shared a love for a boy called, as I recall, Nigel. Nothign came of it, but bonds that cannot be broken, and so on.

Anyway, Nigel's offering a blind eye, in return for some gen on Uncle Viktor. Frankly, I'm very tempted.


02:50pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146435
If you talk to anyone about Viktor, I will kill you.


02:51pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Ems

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146436


02:54pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146437
I say, steady on old bean. that's a bit steep, isn't it?


02:56pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146441
I will take care of Viktor myself. Touch him, and you're dead.

We have a saying in Siberia - only the old bear fails to look up at the trees.


02:57pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Ems

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146443
i bet this is eddie talking to himself again...


02:59pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146444
Well, we have a saying in Hampshire, Grigory. Only a Russian sits in his own shit.

I am going to ask Nigel to come here and talk to you. I won't give him Viktor, but I can't risk another bloodbath like we had in Greece.


03:00pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

missdevi

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146446
LMAO this is a great thread!


03:03pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146451
Very well. I will talk to your English poof friend. But I warn you - I am not happy.

And a Russian does not sit in his own shit. He goes barenecked, even in the deepest winter. Remember that, my friend.

And what the hell kind of a site is this you've elected on to communicate anyway? Who are these people?


03:07pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146455
"Find somewhere safe and anonymous" you said. Well, I hardly think anyone's going to bother to read the bizarre ravings on here, are they?

And it's hardly my fault that our old meeting place is gone. I'm not the one who killed Nick the Greek in a drunken rage, remember? And I still say it wasn't polite or necessary to leave him hanging from a lamp post in Amsterdam by his ghoulies.

Anyway, I'll get Nigel on board. A rolling stone gathers no shit, as we say in Hampshire.


03:18pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146460
Nick the Greek was a bastard whose mother slept with a donkey. He had it coming. I would kill him again if he were not already dead.

And why are you talking about this here anyway? Dickhead.

Get the English poof on. I will see what deal he offers.


03:26pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146462
Nick the Greek was a charming man, with a great deal of knowldge on iconography and calligraphy. In my view, kicking him to death because he beat you at scrabble was a little harsh.

And I happen to have met Nick's mother, and I doubt she ever slept with any donkeys. Unlike some of our clients. Major Havers instantly springs to mind.


03:29pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146464
Fuck Havers. Effette, English nancy.

As for the Greek, when the elk springs from his shelter, he risks becoming lost in the snow.


03:37pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146469
Yes, well that's as may be Grigory, but soft words butter no parsnips.


03:39pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146472
English tosser.


03:40pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146473
Russian oaf.

Oh look, really this is getting us nowhere. We're caught by the short and curlies here. The sooner we get Nigel on baord the better.


03:41pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146474
Ok, I agree. Get him here, then we talk again.


04:05pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146489
Now you two, I'm White Owl. Which is to say I'm Toni's friend.

Bloody hell Toni - you've put my name in above. Prat. You really haven't got any smarter since school, have you?

Anyway, look, Grigory, I'm ex RN, been here for some years. I'm a senior case officer, but frankly up for retirement. So a younger colleague of mine will also be involved from time to time. He's very keen, and a bit brash, so bear with him.

I served a bit in Berlin during the cold war actually, and Grigory I see from your file that you're ex KGB, so we should be able to speak the same language.

Twoka twoka?


04:07pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146493
"Twoka twoka"! What the bloody hell does that mean Nigel?


04:08pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146494
It's WhiteOwl you fool.


04:09pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146495
But I've already called you Nigel. So what harm can it do? Nigel.


04:10pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146496
Shut up, idiot.

WhiteOwl - in Wales, a spy called Jones will blend in easily.


04:13pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146497
And yet in Karachi Jones will stand out.


04:14pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146498
So you know the old codes? Good. Now, what do you want?


04:16pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146500
Look, I'm beginning to feel like a guest at the Mad Hatter's sodding tea party here.

Viktor is nowhere near bloody Wales. Or Kerachi, come to that.


04:18pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146502
Let's just say that my people are interested in taking down Viktor. He's a shit of old, and we want him.

Give him to us, and we may be prepared to overlook your, ah, rather interesting South Coast establishments. And some of the rather messy outcomes that have resulted from your losing scrabble, and the like, Grigory.


04:21pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146503
In the temples of Rome, few can smell the air until the incense has cleared.


04:22pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146504
Yet in Iceland, the air is always fresh.


04:23pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146505
What? Have you people taken leave of your senses?


04:24pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146506
Shut up. Fuckwit.


04:25pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146507
Yes, do be quiet Toni, there's a good fellow. Your constant wittering is annoying me as well.

It reminds me of that time you shat yourself in games, when we were playing rugby against the Teachers. Do you remember? Old Fozzy Thorndike stepped in your shit, and then hit you repeatedly with his boot, as I recall.


04:27pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146508
Yes, well he bloody well shouldn't have. I was a young boy, and those teachers were huge.

Frankly, that entire thing put me off watersports and scat for life.


04:27pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146509
Well, frankly that's probably a good thing, isn't it?

Anyway, my colleague will pick up with you later.


04:39pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146513
WhiteOwl - what is your colleague called? Will he identify himself by signals?


04:44pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Sexymothafucka

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146518
I'm the colleague - and I don't like what I'm hearing here. WhiteOwl's old and stupid. I'm the future.

So give it to me big time Big Boy - or I'll break you're Russian Arse. Fancy a life stretch inside do you? Followed by a deportation order to Siberia?

Give me the goods muthafucka.


04:46pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146523
I say, ah, Mother Fucker, where on earth did you learn to speak like that? Bet they didn't teach you that at Sandhurst?


04:47pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Sexymothafucka

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146526
Fuck off Faggot. What you got?


04:48pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146529
What have I got? Really? Well, piles and I'm told crabs, but it's early days for that yet and I just need to buy some ointment.


04:49pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146532
Cretin. He means what will we give him on Viktor. What's in it for us?


04:52pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Sexymothafucka

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146541
Hang on - I need WhiteOwl to authorise this.


04:52pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146542
You're a fucking cretin. Cretin.


04:52pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146544
Nob.


04:53pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146547
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But sometimes the fence is painted yellow.


04:54pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146548
And to get to the Green Green Valleys, one must follow the Yellow Brick Road.


04:56pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146554
Exactly. Be in touch.


04:57pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146555
Will someone please tell me what's going on?


04:57pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146556
We have a saying for people like you in Russia, Antoni - when the scared old lady looks away, the sleek cossack will come to the fore.


04:58pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Sexymothafucka

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146558
Right - you've got until tomorrow. Then I want the info. Big time. Got it?


04:59pm, 1st Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146560
Cunt.


09:07am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146620
Grigory - we need to speak. We've had a bit of an accident at the club - three deaths, in fact.


09:08am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146621
WHAT? Three deaths? What happened?


09:10am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146622
Well, at about 2.30 this morning, one of our girls (Ksenia), one of our customers (Reverend Johns) and one of our stallions (Prancer) all died in a freak accident in the "Catherine the Great Room".


09:11am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146623
Stupid Englishman. How can 2 people and a horse die? What sort of accident? Give me details. Idiot.


09:13am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146624
Look, it's not my fault.

From what I can gather, Ksenia was in flagrante with Rev Johns, who in turn was in flagrante with Prancer. Prancer was being held by a sling, and the suspension broke. I think one of the bolts in the harness sheared.

Anyway, Prancer collapsed onto Ksenia and Rev Johns, and - as he was 22 stone - he suffocated them.

In turn, he couldn't breathe, so he suffocated too.

It was an accident - could have happened to anyone.


09:15am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146626
"Could have happened to anyone"? How many members of the clergy do you know who have sex with hookers whilst at the same time taking it up the arse from a 22 stone stallion?

What kind of sick mind comes up with that idea?


09:16am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146627
The "Catherine the Great Room" has been a superb money spinner. You didn't complain then, did you?

And it was the bloody Russians who started sleeping with horses - well, Catherine in fact.

Rev Johns had a superb singing voice as well. He'll be much missed.


09:17am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146628
Dolt. Catherine the Great did not sleep with horses. That was a rumour put around by her enemies.

You were the warped freak who came up with the idea.

Why didn't anyone hear them - presumably they called for help?


09:19am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146629
Well, we heard some muffled groanings, but frankly that's usual.

We also head Prancer neigh a couple of times, but I just assumed he'd taken to Rev Johns, you see.

Anyway, look the Club is crawling with police and Health and Safety, and there's a demonstration outside.


09:19am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146630
Demonstration? What do you mean demonstration? Who is demonstrating?


09:20am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146631
The RSPCA.


09:27am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146634
Ok - I have made some calls.

Piotr will be there soon. He will dispose of the bodies. Ksenia and the Rev will go to the coast. Prancer will go to a fast food outlet.


09:29am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146636
Not so fast old boy. The police already have the bodies, and you are in a lot of trouble.

Shame the pin in that harness "sheared" so mysteriously, wasn't it?

Now, you need help from me, and I need Viktor from you. I suggest we talk.


09:31am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146640
Bloody hell Nigel. Have you been snooping round my Club cutting bits of equipment?

That's not exactly nice is it? Whatever happened to the old school tie? And what about poor Rev Johns? And Prancer - why, you're a hunting man yourself. How could you?


09:33am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146642
Shut up Toni.

WhiteOwl - what help will you offer?


09:34am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146643
Toni, I didn't go myself. At my age, it would have induced a heart attack.

I sent my colleague.

Grigory - blind eye to all past activities, blind eye to your current businesses, and a way out of this mess.


09:37am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146646
Well I hope you're going to help clean up in here Nigel. It's a sodding mess. Horse saliva and shit everywhere.

And what about the animal righters outside, eh? I mean, I love animals as much as the next man, but they've started throwing bricks. Bloody hippy bastards.

I say, did your colleague take some equipment from Neptune's grotto?


09:37am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146647
What is missing from Neptune's Grotto?


09:47am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146649
I've just checked.

We're missing the mermaid costume, 3 vibrators, the diving helmet and the inflatable dinghy.


09:52am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146651
WhiteOwl - I will need time to assemble a dossier on Viktor. I will give you the goods you request next week. In the meantime, I need you to keep the lid on the investigation over the accident.

Can you keep the pervert Vicar's death out of the media?


09:54am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146654
Grigory - Rev Johns wasn't a pervert. He just had very exclusive tastes.

Why, my grandfather the Bisho could have taught Rev Johns a thing or two, I can tell you.......


09:55am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146655
Toni, your grandfather the Bishop was hardly a normal man, was he? As I recall from your file, he died of a heart attack whilst dressed in a bull's skin, chasing a nun through St Pauls.


10:03am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146660
He was very much an outdoors type, Nigel, and he'd recently returned from Spain, where he was taken with the bull fights. It was perfectly healthy, I tell you.


10:06am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146661
Grigory - when a man would wish not to be seen it is better that he does not stand naked on the platform of a railway station.


10:13am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146666
Oh that's very true Nigel. Reminds me of that time I had my clothes stolen, and I was dumped naked at the station in Chalfont-St-Giles.

I managed to hitch a lift home with a long distance lorry driver from Bratislavia.


10:19am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146674
WhiteOwl - but if that same man wanted complete secrecy he would bury himself in the forest for a month.

Will you be prepared to bury Toni and I in the forest?


10:21am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146676
What?

I'm not being burried in a sodding forest for a month. What will I do with myself? Live off bloody nuts and berries and wank around with wild life? Fuck that for a game of soldiers thank you very bloody much.


10:22am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146677
I thought wanking around with animals was very much your thing Toni.


10:28am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146681
Toni, you cretin, it means WhiteOwl will protect us.


10:28am, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146683
Oh; well thank God for that.

You may have grown up fucking bears in Siberia Grigory, but frankly I'd prefer a nice cup of tea.


01:19pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146791
Fuck off little man. In the KGB we would have eaten you for breakfast.

WhiteOwl - you will have your information next week. I will ask Poitr to get in touch.

Remember the old Russian proverb - the peasant who boils the kettle too long is apt to scold his hand.


01:21pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146794
Grigory - you will know, from your time in Tehran, that Persian saying:-

"Lick up the honey, stranger, and ask no questions".


01:23pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146796
Oh well, whilst we're on exotic sayings, let's not forget the one current in Pigalle - "a fiver for my fanny and a tanner for my arse".


01:24pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146797
Fuck off Toni, there's a good sort.


01:25pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146798
Imbecile. Your constant stream of verbal crap annoys me. Perhaps I should ask Piotr to pay you a visit.....


01:32pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146805
Oh really, Grigory? And who will clean up all the horse shit (at least I assume it's horse shit) in the "Catherine the Great Room" if I'm not around?


01:36pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146807
Look, it really doesn't matter. Just give me Viktor and everything will be fine.


01:40pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146811
Oh alright; I say, whilst we're all here, shall we branch out a bit?


01:40pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146812
What do you mean?


01:41pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146813
Well, maybe go onto some other posts and chat up some of the people here? Perhaps recruit someone to replace Ksenia?


01:44pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146814
Idiot cretin! Do you not remember when you joined that Thai Bride agency with the same idea?

It was only by bribing the Thai authorities that I managed to get you out of prison.

And I never understood how you ended up in the Bangkok Ladies Jail in any event.


01:48pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146816
Funny story actually; you see, when I was arrested I was with a girl called Foo Yang, and we'd decided it would be a rather scrummy idea to swap clothes.

So, there she was dressed in my duds (and the way her bottom filled out my linen trousers was extraordinary), and there I was in her dress.

Anyway, when the Thai police picked us up they discovered what we all knew, that of course Foo Yang was a she-he; a chap, you see.

So they took one look at me, and decided I must be an English Lady Boy. Rather oddly, they fought Foo Yang looked more masculine, so off she went to the gents' establishment, whilst I went to the old Bangkok Hilton.

I really didn't mind that much though - all those super women? Frankly, I was a bit upsent when I got let out.


02:06pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146824
You are a sick man Toni.

It is snowing heavily in Riga.


02:06pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146825
What the fuck does "It is snowing heavily in Riga" mean?


02:07pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146826
Oaf. I am in Riga, and it is snowing heavily.

Lackwit.


02:08pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146827
Until next week, then chaps.

And remember, the little Indian Brave who oversleeps is likely to find that the big Cowboy has pissed in his teepee.


02:13pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146828
I once pissed in a teepee.

I was in a reservation in California; I'd had a bit of a run in with the Feds, and thought it best to hide out for a bit. Thankfully, I still had She-Who-Smiles-Slowly's details, so I looked her up, you see.

At that stage, she was still doing mud wrestling in the casinos. So she got me a job as an assistant to the knife thrower.

Well, of course being chained onto a revolving wheel was just nuts to me. However, I didn't like having knives chucked at me.

All the time that Little-Boy-With-Sure-Hand-And-Steady-Eye was doing the act it was fine.

But on his nights off Old-Man-Who-Lost-Most-Of-Sight-In-Accident-and-Drinks-Firewater-Like-Fish took over. And to be honest he was past his best.

That's how I lost my left testicle, actually.


02:22pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

missdevi

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146831
100


02:27pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146832
Fancy a job, er, Miss Devi? We seem to have a new and unexpected vacancy.


02:45pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

missdevi

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146846
really? where? and as what?

part time and temporary?


02:50pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146848
Idiot! Leave her alone.

A thousand apologies, Miss. As we say in Russia, when lovely lady looks at hungry bear, she looks at destiny.


02:51pm, 2nd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

missdevi

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 146849
apology accepted, i think i'll just stay out of this thread...

i have no idea what's going on. tata!


01:14pm, 3rd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147103
Come on you little bugger - I know what you were up to last night.

Come out come out wherever you are.


01:17pm, 3rd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

sexymothafucka

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147104
I take it you mean me, WhiteOwl?


01:19pm, 3rd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147105
How many other colleagues do I have who spent last night in a stolen dinghy, wearing a diving hood, rogering a hooker dressed as a mermaid?

Really, some chaps I sailed with in the Navy had odd tastes, but that takes the bloody biscuit. You're a disgrace to the service.


01:25pm, 3rd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147109
Oh don't be too hard on the lad, Nigel. After all, I recall during my National Service I was stationed in Kenya.

Well, a life in the Kalahari wasn't really for me, you see, so whilst on leave I upped to the fleshpots of the Sudan.

The Military Police picked me up five weeks later. I was working as a doorman in a, ah, Gentleman's Club, whilst disguised as General Gordon of Kartoum.


01:52pm, 3rd Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147113
Toni, I think disguising yourself as Gordon was pretty tame, compared to some of your other exploits.

It was also pretty stupid, given that Gordon died in 1878 or so.

Anyway, gen on Viktor by next week please chaps. Or else.


12:13pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

pauli

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147795
Grigory

I am in Berlin; I have the dossier on Viktor. Instructions please.


12:16pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147797
Splendid; Grigory, your input please.


12:24pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147805
Oh I like Berlin; I spent some very good times there in the '70's. Haven't been able to go back since, though.

You see, I'd been drinking quite heavily, for some days, and I went out for a stroll. I stopped off at a club for a drink, and the last thing I recall was dancing with some girls.

Next thing I knew, it was 3 days later and I came to in a prison cell in Berlin, wearing a Nazi Officer's uniform and women's underwear.

Anyway, I got out eventually, but whilst there I met Paulo, who was in for fraud. We got released at the same time, and to celebrate he took me home to meet his family and have a meal.

Well, you see, he had 3 daughters and a wife - all Germano-Italian, and perfectly charming. Anyway, Paulo drank himself into a stupour, so we amused ourselves.

As I recall, when he awoke he was more than a little miffed to see me, erm, engaging his eldest daughter on the dinning room table whilst the rest of his family yelled encouragement and served us dumplings.

Unknown to me, he was terribly well connected with some rather nasty people in Berlin and I had to hightail it out of there, naked but for boots and a sheet wrapped round my torso.

The contract on me is apparently still live, so Berlin is a closed venue for me nowadays.


12:30pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

Grigory

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147810
Pauli

Send it via the usual route. Then go to see The Gypsy. He has a job for you.

WhiteOwl - do you recall that the KGB had a dead letter box near to the Free French Church? The package will be there at 15.00 on Wednesday.


12:43pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

whiteowl

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147817
I will send my colleague to collect it. Once I am satisfied, the police will turn their attention elsewhere.


12:44pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

missdevi

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147820
what are all of your occupations btw..? i'm so curious!!


12:46pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory

antoni

[Profile - Diary]
Msg no: 147824
I see myself as an events organiser and promoter.


12:49pm, 6th Jun 2005   FAO Grigory